I was a lover of self, but at the same time a hater of self. I treated the ones I love terribly and blamed them for all my failures. I chased things I thought would make me happy, like money, materialism and empty relationships founded on these things. 10 years ago I quit drinking, one day I just stopped. I didn't know why or how because my drinking was something I feared would never go away. But I stopped and never drank again. Although I stopped drinking I still was searching for something I was missing.
I worked a job that made my parents not proud to make money. I was living in a nice apartment in downtown Washington DC. I thought that since I was not drinking surely my life would start to make sense. But it didn't. I was just as empty as ever. The pandemic shut down my work, temporarily, and I spent a lot of time with my mom and sister, I was given the chance to return to work but I chose not to. I gave up everything to mend my life with my family.
Like most during the pandemic I had more time to be alone, and I began reading the book of Revelation. It was mysterious and strange. I learned and studied it. I had no idea there was an entire Biblical Prophetic Timeline, and I had no idea the mystery within scripture. But there was a sense of Verity. There was a sense of truth I never knew in my life. I started studying the scriptures, studying who Jesus was and what he taught. I can't even type it without my eyes welting up with tears.
I couldn't stop thinking about it. I don't stop thinking about it. I can't explain it other than it begins to live in you. It's something someone can only obtain by reading and studying the scripture. It puts things into perspective, it takes away fear and anxiety that comes with the world. There is nothing like it and trust me, I've chased every sort of high and experienced every kind of low. It never ends and it only grows stronger. All I want to do is learn more, pray for understanding of scripture. I always thought people who believe would pray for things like money or a cool job. But when you believe and hear the word, those things don't even make the list. My testimony may sound long but it is incomplete.
My testimony is infinite. I pray anyone who sees this and relates even the slightest picks up the scripture and begins to read. Pick any page, any gospel. I read Revelation and this is the result?! Thats the last book, and pretty unconventional to cite in my testimony. There is a divine reason that I will never know. Today I read, that Jesus Sleeps in the Just.
If you are someone who wants to know truth, you believe in justice and love and truth, you despise lies and injustices and wicked things in this world, but you aren't “religious.” Jesus is sleeping in you, and you can wake him up, and you will hear his words if you just look. And he will give you a gift that you cannot refuse, its truth. Trust me!
I could write for ever but this is the beginning of my testimony. May God bless whoever reads this and gives comfort to, god bless whoever reads this and knocks on the door of The Lord, he will open it.
comments